


When idiots go to Remnant, Stupidity insures

by DemonKingAlzek



Category: RWBY
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-12 21:48:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21483367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonKingAlzek/pseuds/DemonKingAlzek
Summary: When two idiots end up in Remnant, by pure fanfiction logic no less, they must fight to survive their own stupid mistakes. Such as groping a naked Yang by accident or Flirting with Ruby. These two are not incompetent they, at least one of them, and know how to set events into motion to save Beacon, and possibly Remnant. They will fight to the bitter end, if they must.This contains some weird stuff, but my friend Lily (DemonQueenLily) will have worse.
Relationships: Blake Belladonna/Neopolitan, Jaune Arc/Pyrrha Nikos, Lie Ren/Nora Valkyrie, Ruby Rose/Original Character(s), Weiss Schnee/Neptune Vasilias, Yang Xiao Long/Original Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1: The Beginning

Matthew  
Semblance: future sight  
*Active ability* Able to see a few seconds into the future, and can react to info faster the normal human reaction time.

Weapon - bladed gauntlets also shoots blades as grapple hooks. Dust channel in grapple hook cable. " Karma "

Aura color: blue

  


Jake  
-Semblance: Cosmetic change.  
Is able to mimic the full appearance of someone. Biologically, they are one and the same. This semblance is able to make original appearances, but the biology must be mapped out. (active)

-Weapon: Malice  
A broadsword in appearance, this sword is able to be disconnected from the hilt, with a chain connecting the blade to the hilt. Also has an Assault rifle barrel in the middle, making it capable at engaging at range.

Aura Color-Black

  


\----------------------------------------------------------Story Start------------------------------------------------

“Jake you suck” Matthew said in a bored tone of voice over discord.

“Reverse Card” Jake responded, posting a picture of a reverse card in the chat.

"Touche" said Matthew feeling defeated. "By the way the RWBY stories on archive you told me to read were pretty good."

“Just be glad I didn’t send the weird ones.”

" Jake, I don't feel so good." Matthew said feeling uneasy.

“Matthew, why the fuck are you quoting endgame?” Jake said.

Matthew is enveloped in a bright light, before vanishing.

“Matthew? The fuck was that?” Jake said, Confused until he felt something as well. “What the fuck…?” The same light covers Jake, and he is gone.

A few moments later  
Jake Pov  
Falling, which was weird since I was just sitting, on top of someone, I grunts in pain.

“Ow, the fuck just happened…?” I said. Slowly sitting up, my hand lands on something round and soft.

"Eep, the heck?" Matthew said in pain from the hallway.

“Matthew?” I call out, seeing something out of the corner of my eye, I look down. And know I’m fucked. Below me is a very recognizable blond, Eyes red, naked, and my hand on her breast.

“Oh fu-!

Matthews Pov  
1 minute earlier  
I fall on the ground not knowing where I am. A sudden jolt of pain is sent through my back as I yelp in pain. I look down to see a fox tail as it slowly starts to flick in different directions. "Cool" I say with a shine in my eyes. While in aw off my tail I hear a familiar voice say "Oh fu…" as he is sent flying out the door of one of the rooms.

3rd Pov  
Quickly changing, the girls rush out of the room to see the first guy knocked out, sprawled out next to another one.

“What the fuck were you doing in our room creep!?” Yang yells, not noticing the other one.

“Ummm, Yang?” Ruby says, trying to get her sister's attention.

“Hold on Ruby! Well!”

"Hello, he is knocked out at the moment, but…" Matthew said getting up off the ground. "Hey cutie" Matthew said to Ruby.

“...God damnit Matthew…” Jake says, slowly opening his eyes and straightening himself up. Looking slightly scared at the girls.

Yang, Now acknowledging the presence of the other person in the hallway and hearing his flirting, charges him. Matthew, in a panic to dodge, accidently actives...something. He sees himself dodging, the vision ends and he follows it. He didn’t watch it long enough to see his foot catching Yang and sending her into Jake.

Jake gets sent to the floor with Yang. In a panic to not get sent flying yet again, He jumps up and follows a new instinct. He grabs Blake, who wasn’t expecting this, and spins around with her. In a moment the hallway now had two Blakes in it.

"So is no one gonna ask about my tail." Matthew said in confusion "Where are we anyway?"

Blake shakes her head to clear it, and looks up to see...Herself doing the same.

“What.” Blake said at the same time as her copy cat did.

"Is that a no? Ok.” Matthew sighs.

“The Hell! Coward! Don’t use my friend to hide!” Yang yells, enraged.

“Umm, Yang? I don’t think threats are going to work.” Ruby points out.

“Then what do you suggest, Ruby?” Yang asks, finally calming down.

“A question game!” Ruby yells out.

Matthew remembers he has a cookie and starts to eat it. "Yum" Matthew says happily, not noticing Ruby staring at him.

A few moments later  
Both Blakes are now sitting in two chairs, facing the rest. Matthew is just sitting in a corner, eating his random cookie.

“First question! What piece did we pick during initiation?” Yang asks

“Knight” Both Blakes answer, and then stare at each other.

“Second question” Yang says. “When did we first meet?”

“During the first day, you dragged Ruby over.” Both say, again giving each other the stink eye.

“Wow their good.” Ruby whispers over to Weiss, how shushes her.

“Third question! What is...Blake’s Bra size?” Yang asks with a grin.

Matthew notices an "article of clothing" and reads what it has written on it.

“Yang!” Both Blakes yell at the blond

" C32?" Matthew says in confusion.

“Correct.” Yang says with a grin.

“What!” One of the Blakes yell “Where did you get that!?”

Matthew points to a bra near him, still eating his cookie.

One of the Blakes lunges at him, Leaving the other one sitting in the chair.

“Looks like we found the fake.” Yang says with a smile that promises pain.

“Oh fuck”

  


**Hello there you fucking weirdos and poor fellows who stumbled across this story! I am Demon King Alzek. One of a few Demon Kings and Queens lurking around. This story is co-Authored By DemonKingLeviathan, Who doesn’t have an account yet like a scrub.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The progression of the story! This won't go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's see how this goes.

Matthew  
5'11  
Short brown hair on the sides and longer brown hair on top with blue tip on the front. Normally talks in a happy tone unless something happens to change it. Generally Wears blue clothes.

Appearance-Jake  
6 Foot  
Long, Brown hair that reaches the end of the neck. Brown eyes. Generally wears gray clothing and speaks in monotone unless everyone he is near he is familiar with, or something is happening. Tends to wear a hoodie

**\--------------------------------------------------------------Story Start---------------------------------------------------**

“Stand Still!”

“No! Fuck You!”

Jake and Yang were running around the room, Jake still disguised as Blake.

“Turn into yourself!” Yang yells, pissed off.

“I Can’t!”

Matthew walks over to Ruby." Hey cutie, how long have you been at Beacon?"

“Ummm…” Ruby trails off, not knowing how to respond.

Yang finally catches up to Jake and gets a hit off, unfortunately for Jake, the direction he is sent is out the window.

“SON OF A BITCH!” Jake yells on the way down.

"Nice hit" Matthew said in a joking manner.

Yang turns her gaze to Matthew “Now, what did you say to my sister?”

"I called her cute. And I only speak the truth." Matthew says in a calm manner.

“Well, now that one is gone, we have to question the other.” Blake says, having put her bra back. Yang punches her fists together.

“Hell ya.”

"Well, you see..."

“I’m back bitches!” Jake, still stuck as Blake, yells as he jumps through the window, tackling Blake again.

“Dammit! Not again!” Yang yells, getting the two Blakes mixed up again.

"Before you kill him, Just so you know he can't change back. Neither of us know how to use our semblances." Matthew says in a slightly hurried manner.

“Why are you in our room to begin with?” Ruby asks.

"Well, I was dragged off against my will, for no reason. I don't know what he did to Yang for her to want to kill him, but why can't you just stop. It's a pointless endeavor." Matthew says trying to think logically.

“Did you just call me a cockroach? Oh Shit!”

"No, I'm saying this isn't beneficial for either side of the argument."

“Tell that to her!” Jake hides behind Blake as Yang tries to get him.

"What did Jake even do, if you don't mind me asking?" Matthew questioned.

“He groped ME!” Yang yells, still trying to get Jake. Blake is still in the middle, caught between them.

“It was an accident! I was disoriented!” Jake yells back, still trying to hide behind Blake.

“SHUT UP!” Weiss yells as she used her Glyphs to freeze Jake, Yang, and Matthew to the ground. “Let's just get Ozpin in here. He’ll deal with it.”

"Oh right, we do need to speak with Ozpin. When that discussion is over, I hope we can start over. Maybe even find another cookie." Matthew said

“That is quite unnecessary, Ms. Schnee. The cameras picked up the fight in the hallway. Now then, who are our guests.” Ozpin says, entering the room.

“Sup. I'm Jake. I promise I'm a guy, I'm just a bit stuck at the moment.”

"I'm Matthew. Nice to meet you Professor Ozpin." Matthew said in a happy tone.

“A pleasure to meet you too. So, what has happened here?" Ozpin says sipping his coffee.

"The fake Blake gropped me while I was naked." Yang says angrily while giving death stares to Jake.

"It's not my fault" Jake says, No longer able to use Blake as a shield.

"Can you all stop yelling" Weiss says tired and angry.

"Jake, Matthew come with me" Ozpin says.

"Ooooh your in trouble" Ruby says in a childish manner.

Out of nowhere Jake's and Matthew's weapons appear. Jake's weapon hits him on the head and dazzes him. Because of this Jake changes back to his normal form. Matthew puts his gauntlets on.

"What was that!?" Yang says in confusion. Everyone looks at the two of them with a confused looks on their faces,

"Well, time for some explaining huh." Matthew says as he chuckles nervously. "Well, the reason we’re here is we got teleported here by someone else. And we just unlocked our semblances recently, so neither of us know what's going on per say." Matthew explains.

"Interesting" Ozpin says." Well, we will talk about this tomorrow. It's not the time nor place to discuss this. Matthew, Jake you will stay in team RWBY's dorm for tonight."

"What!" yells team RWBY in shock.

"No arguing, our guests need a place to stay, so get some rest." Ozpin explains leaving the room.

Yang looks at Jake with a death glare as he regains his senses.

"When did I get this?" Jake asks looking down at his sword.

"Doesn't matter right now. We get to sleep here, so be prepared for a night of awkwardness." Matthew says as he sits next to a wall preparing to get some sleep.

"How do I know he won't grope me again." Yang says pointing at Jake.

"If he does just attack him or something, I don't know."

"Fine, but I'm watching out for him."

Everyone calms down from the events that had just occurred and got some sleep. They could tell tomorrow will be a busy day."

\---------------------------------------------------------**TimeSkip**\----------------------------------------------------------  
**Matthew's pov**

I woke up early to head to Ozpin's office, to talk to him. After entering the elevator I press the button for the highest floor. The elevator ride was pretty uneventful with no one there. After getting to the top floor a voice says "Please come in". I walk in to see Ozpin looking over Beacon.

"Hey I wanted to ask you a few things." I say.

“Go ahead” Ozpin says, turning to look at Me.

“What is gonna happen to Me and Jake exactly?” Matthew asks. “We don’t have a way to get back home.”

“And why’s that?” Ozpin questions.

“We’re from a remote Village. And we can’t point it out on a map.” Jake says, having called the elevator down without either noticing. “Besides that, I can tell we’re nowhere near. Weathers completely different.”

Ozpin seems to think about the new information. “And why do you have weapons on you?”

“We recently joined the Militia of the Village. We got the weapons from our parents, and have no training in them. And we got out semblances only recently, so we don’t have much practice in those either.” Jake explains, thinking quickly.

“Hmmm. And what do you two know of the Kingdoms?”

“Me and Matthew were a bit more...Interested in the outside world than the others. So we know a good bit.” Jake says, still bullshitting their way out of this.

“I see, How about we make a deal.” Ozpin says, look us over. “At Beacon, We can train you two for your Villages Militia, and help you find your Village. In exchange, while you're here you two will act as Huntsmen for the Kingdom.”

“Would it be possible to work an allowance into the deal?” Jake asks. “We use a different currency in our Village than your Lien. SO technically, we’re broke.”

“That is possible. I think enough for basic necessities and some for personal spending should be enough?” Ozpin offers.

“That would be great Professor. Anything else we need to talk about?” Jake asks

“For now, no. We will need to talk later for information on your Village. Now then, I'm sure you two are hungry. Glynda will take you two to the cafeteria, and show you to your future dorm room.” Ozpin says as the elevator opens revealing Glynda Goodwitch.

“Follow me, if you will” Glynda says, waiting for us to get in the elevator.

“Good day Professor” I say, and turn to Glynda. “Lead the way.”

\---------------------------------------------------------**Cafeteria**\---------------------------------------------------------  
**Team Rwby Pov**

“I wonder what happened to those two” Ruby says to her team. “I mean, they were both gone when we woke up.”

“Good riddance.” Yang says. “After last night, I'm happy they're gone."

“Wait, what two?” Jaune asks, confused

Just then, Professor Goodwitch walked into the cafeteria. Leading Matthew and Jake over to Team RWBY and Team JNPR.

“Those two.” Ruby whispers to Jaune, pointing at Matthew and Jake as they are escorted over to the table.

"You two already know Team RWBY, they shall show you around the school today" Ms.Goodwitch states. "When classes are finished wait for me outside the dorm rooms. I will show you to your dorm then."

After saying her piece, Miss Goodwitch leaves the cafeteria. Leaving RWBY and JNPR with the two.

“Well, fuck.” Jake says looking at an angry Yang, who is about to kill him.

Matthew walks over to the lunch line, leaving Jake to his impending doom.

“Rude!” Jake yells after him.

“Who are you?” Jaune asks, “And why is Yang furious with you?”

“Well, my name is Jacob, but most people call me Jake.” Jake says inching away from Yang, who looks like she’s a few seconds away from hitting him again, “Who are you?”

“Oh, well I'm Jaune. Short, sweet, rolls off the tongue, ladies love it.” Jaune says, trying to look impressive.

"Hey what did I miss?" Matthew says to Jake while holding coffee. "Oh hey, I’m Matthew nice to meet you all." Matthew says looking at the group at the table.

“Can we get back on topic?” Blake says.

“What topic?” Jake questions.

“What were you doing in our dorm last night?” Blake asks. “And why did you turn into me?”

“Like we said, we got teleported there.” Jake explains. “And I turned into you to hide from Yang.”

"He did it by accident too. Neither of us know how our semblances work exactly" Matthew adds still sipping coffee.

“Still, I was disoriented and had NO plans of falling on anyone.”

“That’s what they all say. Actually no one says that, because that’s never really an issue they have to get out of.”

“Exactly!”

“SHUT UP!” Yang yells as she stands up, while activating her semblance. The cafeteria quiets as they stare at Yang who, seeing the attention, sits back down.

The residents at the table quietly stare at Yang.

“No.” Jake says, staring at her. Matthew slaps Jake in the back of the head.

“That’s my line… douche.” Matthew says sipping his coffee.

Jake was about to respond when they heard a cry of pain a few tables away.

“Please stop…” said what appeared to be a second year getting her ear pulled on.

“I told you they were real!” Said Cardin

“What a Fre- OW!” Cardin starts to say before steaming hot coffee hits him.

“Whoops, my hand slipped. Oh well.” Matthew says with a plain look on his face.

“You BITCH!” Cardin yells getting up. After getting up, Cardin throws a punch at Matthew. Out of panic, Matthew’s semblance activates when Cardin is getting up. When Cardin is about to hit Matthew, Matthew grabs Cardin’s wrist and pushes it behind Cardin’s back. He then pushes Cardin at his lunch table, so that he falls on it.

“Wow… that went better than expected.” Matthew says smiling.

“Cunt.” Jake says looking down at Cardin.

“AARRHHH” Cardin yells as he pushes himself up and charges at the duo.

Both dodge to the sides and flank him. Jake punches him into Matthew, who takes his legs out putting Cardin on his knees. Jake responds to this opportunity by ax kicking him in the head, sending him fully down. Cardin tries to sweep Jakes legs out, but he dances around it. Pushing himself back up, he aims a punch at Jake again, who ducks under it. Retaliating with a punch to the side of the head, Matthew carries up with a ball kick, sending him down for a third time. This time he doesn’t get back up.

“GG.” Matthew says standing on Cardin.

“Really?” Jake says, looking at him.

“Yes.”

“What is going on here!?” Glynda yells.


End file.
